WHY I WROTE "A DAY OF RECKONING"

 I wrote “A Day of Reckoning", for two reasons: 

I got the idea for the novel when one of my family members was involved in a tumultuous relationship. They had two children together. After she had her second child she suffered from “Post Postpartum Depression”, more commonly known as “Baby Blues” or Melancholy Blues”. She found out her boyfriend at the time was trying to get back with his ex-wife which sent her into a long dark vortex of anger and self-loathing. They tried several times to make the relationship work but, they couldn’t trust each other. She was also in a love triangle, going back and forth between the ex-boyfriend and the other boyfriend. Then the other boyfriend ended up sleeping around on her as well. Both relationships were violent and even caused her to lose her job.

The second reason was another family member went through a nasty one-sided divorce. Long story short, her now ex-husband was having an affair with another woman. Instead of working out the relationship in an adult manner, he went behind her back and filed a divorce petition; claiming she was mentally unstable and unfit to care for their three children. He then drained their joint bank account leaving her with no money. She came home from work and found her oldest daughter sitting on the front porch. He was verbally abusive; mostly about their weight issues. He did some shady things and for nearly fifteen years she did not see her children who then lived with their father and new stepmother. She had no visitations, and when she and her daughter did get to see the other three children it was supervised.

There are actually three reasons for the book. My own story. Almost my whole life has been filled with abusive situations. I won’t go into them because not only have I moved past them, I had to forgive them to move on. I’ve been on both sides of abuse. However, my side was usually a result of too much alcohol. In my late teens and early twenties, I thought I was some kind of badass, and I had a bit of a temper. I didn’t actually go out of my way to hurt anyone. I was in a relationship at that period of my life and the person I was with liked to say things that made me feel like I was crap. I didn’t look right, I didn’t dress right, and if we were drinking (which was most of the time) he would say something about a woman that would set me off.

But then my first marriage made me realize I was in a bad situation and needed to get out before I was murdered, or in prison for murder. At first, he was sweet, complementary and I couldn’t understand why his ex-girlfriend came at him with a knife. I found out soon enough. I hated that man so much I was actually thinking of ways to kill him. The one time I pressed charges it took law enforcement six months to act on it and that was because we were at the Sheriff’s dept pressing charges against a landlord for pulling a pistol on us.

I was taken into a room and asked if I wanted to have the now ex-husband put in jail. As terrified as I was of him I told them no. I told them that if that happened he would hunt me down and kill me. I believed that. However, not too long after that, and through the power of prayer, I was able to break free from that monster. In the years since that time I’ve had to forgive this man. He did some terrible things to me and said some things that made me feel like I was shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe. I admit, I left him a couple of times but went back because I forgave him and I did love him at the time. He had some bad luck come his way, but it didn’t give him an excuse to beat other people, or me for that matter. That is another story. I also thought the drinking was what caused him to turn into an ogre, but I realized as our relationship went along he was an asshole through and through.

No one should ever have to go through what I went through. But, many do, and far worse than what I suffered through. Domestic abuse, physical, sexual, or verbal, it doesn’t matter is a sickness. Yes, sticks and stones do break bones and words do hurt. Even if the offender has begged for forgiveness, chances are they will do it again. It can start out “innocently” enough. A few words of degrading their loved one can turn into yelling, throwing things, and eventually hitting, pushing, a black eye, or a bruise. Then the excuses start.

What I think is the scariest thing is not being able to find a safe haven if one does get the courage to take flight, having children to take care of and what is called the obsessive ex syndrome. There are reports of men (and women) who stalk their ex-partners only to end up killing them and sadly sometimes their children. Most of those who are abusive are cowards. 

Another scary thing I think is the way some people look for those who are vulnerable so they can control them. Vulnerable by having low self-esteem issues or even being abused in their childhood. These people try their hardest to please their loved ones only to have them be torn down by words that can cut deeper than any knife.

Each day, this world seems to get a little uglier. Generations have gone through domestic abuse hidden behind closed doors. Thankfully, it’s not like that any longer. Many programs deal with domestic violence and can help if the affected person(s) will just take their hand and don’t look back, don’t go back, and learn self-defense. Take a stand.  

In the back of the book, I have a list of websites dealing with domestic abuse.  I think it's important to list them here as well. Please find some help if you are in a violent relationship. If not for you for your children (if there are children involved). 

Hotlines - Arkansas Department of Human Services

24 Hour Hotline Numbers - Domestic Violence Coordinating Council (DVCC) - State of Delaware

Domestic Violence Support | The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org)

National Domestic Violence Hotline | The Administration for Children and Families (hhs.gov)

Domestic Violence Treatment Services - Child Welfare Information Gateway

Court Ordered Classes - Online WebCasted Court Program Provider

The 3 Stages of a Dangerously Obsessive Ex | Psychology Today